This may seem like an odd subject, but I think I have perfected the art of picking up poop. Here are my thoughts…

1. Make sure you have a bag with a very LARGE opening. I, personally, like to use pink bags, which make me feel a little more glamorous, and adds a little spice to the not-so-glamorous part of my job. Keep in mind, there’s all sorts of bags out there including, but not limited to; 100% Biodegradable, Flushable, Colorful and even Camo bags, for those doggy owners that would prefer to keep their present a little more hidden.

2. You also want to make sure, BEFORE leaving the house that there is no hole in the poop bag. Without being careful, this could potentially lead to a huge disaster. Those Safeway “re-usable” bags aren’t always the best route to take.

3. Lastly, you want to make sure the bag is sturdy… not one of those cheap plastic things that stores send you off with where your milk almost falls through and one of the handles break. No, this thing needs to be able to carry a little baby… safely! (Though I recommend not testing that.)

Moving along…

4. The first step you will take after your furry loved one has done its’ doody is to hold your breath. Do not squeeze your nose shut though as this may lead to passing out or embarrassment by the neighbors.

5. Secondly, you will need to make sure the leash is safely out of the poop grabbing range. This can be done one of two ways; 1. you can either step on the leash OR, 2. you can leave the leash in your non-preferred, poop grabbing hand or arm. Experiment a little… everyone is different.  

6. The next step I take you to is what I call the “grab n’ scoop.” Your hand needs to be directly in the center of your bag. If it’s on the side at all, you may just find yourself grabbing, well, something else. Make sure your hand is stretched out in the bag, as wide as it can go. This will lead to a much better “scoop.”

7. Last, but not least, while continuing to hold on to what you just picked up with your preferred hand, the other hand will close the bag, or “seal the deal.”

8. Now that you have nice, clean, sealed bag of poop, throw that sucker out! Though your bag may be a nice shade of Candy Apple Red, it’s just not worth hanging on to.

Viola! A much more pleasant and smooth walk for you, and your furry friend.

Thanks for reading my post and good luck in your journey’s pooper scoopers!